Always In My Heart

It has been 3 years today since I lost a piece of my heart. Although it has been that long, it still feels like yesterday. Nono was diagnosed with mast cell tumor a week after my dad’s unexpected passing. Even with cancer cells showing all around his body, he was still his playful, goofy self. I thought, or was hoping he would eventually get better with western/chinese medications and a stricted diet. But that only lasted for 8 months. His condition took a turn for the worst overnight. Suddenly he was refusing food which was very unlikely of him. I hugged him close to sleep that night, praying that he would feel better the next day. When dawn came, he was unresponsive. Then he had a seizure in his unconscious state. I was feeling so scared and helpless all alone at home at that time. I remember running around the block with his lifeless body in my arms frantically trying to flag down a cab to get to the vet (for some reason, the cab I called didn’t show up). But no one would stop their car. I was crying and praying so hard for help. I was a wreck. My boy didn’t wake up since that day. As I gaze up at the sky each night, I think about our evening walks in the park. I miss his cheeky face. I miss holding him close in my arms again. I’m sorry, I wasn’t a great pawrent to you.. I wish I could have done so much more. I hope you knew you were loved till the very end. For now, I’ll just keep you close in my heart till we meet again.

❤ Blessings, Charllotte